Curse of appearance

The common curse

Ugly. This word that describes the appearance of people who are not considered beautiful by the masses. It's widely known, that ugly people are targeted by bullies with their idiotic quest in search for social status. grouping against one individual strengthens the pack, it has always been this way since the dawn of time, having an common enemy strengthens the trust between people in a group. This is just stupid in today's society though, because there aren't much dangers to be afraid of, not enough for us to need a pack anyway. We probably need aliens to get world peace.

Well I wasnt aiming to go that deep into that subject but oh wth what's done is done.

ok, but seriously.

The trophy curse

There's been alot of reflection going on about being ugly and the negativity that follows.

But I'm going to write about the negativity of having good looks instead. Goodlooking, Welltrained and well-shaped people have a tendency to be categorised by the common man. Why? well because of predjudice and jealousy I suppose.

I myself look good, I have had it verified by alot of people, I might not be the best looking guy there is, by I have my apperance in my favour. I've experienced the negativity of having good looks, even though I've only scratched the surface I guess the same principle works for people with greater looks like top-class models aswell.

What I have noticed when I've been curious and asked around about first impressions, I've heard that the thoughts of me being a player came up. (Note, most of these people I've been talking to via community's, and the reason why they might judge me that way is because of pictures where I showoff some muscles. This I can understand, because some people show off muscles as an act of seduction. As of my part, I showed off in search to see if it could help me boost confidence by showing others what I've worked hard to obtain (Poor confidence since childhood, might be taken up in some later post).

It's also notice:able when you get played (As I talked about in the last post), having what by the masses would be called "A hot body" seems to turn you into some kind of trophy, just like that you become somewhat of an "achievement" all of a sudden. Might be because of people wanting to brag about how muscular the one they got in bed were etc.

Another thing I have noticed is that a combination of bad self confidence and good looks often results in that people think that you are very picky, or just down right douchy. When in fact (like in many cases for me) the reason for this non-forthcoming behaviour was the uncertainty of my own abilities in that area, and that I didn't see myself as "good enough" for anyone. And by seeing this as a weakness that I didn't want to show, I went stealthy about it, and jokingly rejected when someone gave me compliments or invited me for some intimacy, ok not always jokingly, but it was always there, finding a way to not get in that situation.

This behaviour might have made the girls think that they aren't good enough or something similar, If I had clarity to understand that back then, I would have explained to them so that their confidence wouldnt take any damage. But I guess I was to busy trying to save myself out of the situation.

So I went skippin out of topic again I think, not completely but near enough. So back in topic.

Understanding

After reflecting upon this and being exposed to it first hand I've come to gain understanding for why many beautiful women and men out there might be less likely to feel secure in a social environment if they have had bad experiences with people such as players before. Constantly being on the defensive isn't showing off one's best side. and a smile can be faked, but just as easily recognized. So I'm not suprised if there's alot of these people out there who never really get to show their best side because of that defensive barrier built to protect against possible "threats". So when people that actually are out to get to know new people on a friendly basis see these individuals, in their defensive stance, they are most likely to get the impression that this person doesn't want to get to know anyone, and then take distance themselves.

So, how do we solve this issue?

Solution

I haven't reflected enough to find a global solution yet, other than one for myself, and that is to listen to peoples actions, not words. A girl can tell me I'm the most goodlooking guy on the planet. But that doesnt weigh nearly enough as to actually feeling that she wants to be with me alot even though there is no sex involved. A behaviour like that would make me be more likely to trust her words later on. There are ofcourse alot of more factors to this, some people have great theatrical skills, and if you are not used to reading people it could get hard. Following gut-feeling and taking risks probably is the only way then. For if the shit hits the fan, you still have been honest to yourself and that's what counts.

That's my solution to the problem, I hope this reading has given you a bit more understanding about not which people we shouldn't be judging by appearance, there are beautiful girls and guys out there, with brains, and high values just like anyone else.

All for now, have a nice night! oh and wait

Have you been in contact with this subject? or something similar?, don't hesitate to write, I'm all ears to everyone