Love-Equation. dont read this.

here comes summer again, the increase of sunshine makes us produce d-vitamins, and the lighter days have a positive effect on our psyke.

In this freedom of coming out of darkness, we feel more open. We become ourselves more, we "fall in love" because we meet someone else that speaks their mind. We are convinced by the equations to complex to understand. Warmer weather means more sweat, more sweat means better de-toxication. We move more, even more detoxication. A feeling of being free, that we then later connect to someone.

When then "fall in love", move together or make habbits that increase our happiness some, then we stop caring as much about ourselves as we should, darkness of winter comes again, first we feel comfort in having someone, then we fear losing them, causing us to act defensively in order not to get hurt. This is subconciously registered by our "mate" and they take distance aswell. With no energy left and the primal defensive mechanisms of winter setting into motion, we dont have energy to find the cause to this.

and so we slowly move apart from oneanother, we feel alone, we resort to temporary happiness that leads to inner stress. We connect this negativity to the person we loved, and we then decide not to be in love anymore because our physical changes made by the enviroment and our habbits were falsely connected to the one we had closest.

We then feel free again, thinking that we have gotten rid of the cause. this freedom either makes us hunt goals again, which then makes us feel better, justifying the reason to leave our heartmate. a winter comes to an end, we've built our confidence again, and we fall in love.. once again.

Sorry people, I told you not to read this.

The silent truth

As long as you know you are a good person. You can fall back to that when you need it.

People will lie about you, in jealousy, stories will be told, but remember as long as you know, the truth, nothing else matters, you dont need to tell others, or to make sure others understand that what you do is with good intetions. For what matters is the outcome of it all, the amount of positive energy you bring into this world.

Be true, Be good, See the people around you succeed, know that you are contributing, smile in silence.

I will smile, in silence, forever. For negativity from others cannot reach me anymore.

Wall's up. Defences on. Secret missions to make others happy commence. This is what I live for.

Outer Strength

Outer strength is but a fraction of true strength.

true strength is in the heart, soul, actions, discipline, valuations and respect.

It can only be seen in your actions, and your eyes.

Truly strong people need no acceptance for their actions, they need not to clarify that they are good, they focus on the wellbeing of everyone and expect nothing in return.

Turningpoint

I'm no longer sad

That I was missunderstood

For that troublesome time I had

Someone would have helped if they could

Sadness turned to strength

As i realised a thing or two

That during my depressions length

I've learned what I can do.

I can bend my mind as I please

And I see limits no longer

I see energy-connections with ease

By myself I have grown stronger

Alone is not always bad

For you end up with strength unbound

No one else is needed to convert from being sad

And so unbound strength was found.

I don't hesitate

I don't wait

I don't rely

I know where I'm going, and there's one speed. Mine.

Epic

I was out training

Harmonic Stress

NightStroll

I used almost all of my money to get a camera.

This is going to be an investment.

Truths

Life is not an RPG, you can multiclass to everything, and there is no level-cap.

There are no winners or losers, there are only destinies, waiting to be fullfilled.

So don't wait for anything or anyone, go where you want to go, and go NOW

On track

things are going smoothly, the training is going better, I feel alot better in general.

The solution to my problems of thinking to much, is to do stuff so fast that there is no time for thinking!

FORWARD! never stop, never accept obstacles, all will be conquered in due time.

Talking about time, the latest mental training for me has been trying to unlearn basic stuff in order to lose stress.

Time for instance, what is time? can it be measured? I think not. 1 hour of misery takes alot of more time than 1 hour of fun. All logic goes against this I know.. but logic... is boring... ;P

Peace

No more charades

I'm pretty much done with pretending to be strong in order not to get hurt

It was in some way carved into my mind and it has saved me from some misery probably, but it has also made me miss alot of what could be love or something like that.

When you start using strategies to make girls that like you, dislike you, just because you are afraid that it might end up as something... that a big sign that you are just fucked up. (and it spreads by word of mouth that you are unpredictable or just plain schizo, which isnt really to your advantage either lol) (but then again, "real" people find out things on their own, and dont make assumptions entirely based on negative talk).

To clarify... I've been quite and idiot, destroying myself because I've been afraid of... I dont know... afraid of meaning something to someone I guess.

the food is done, eatingtime. Peace.

Walk on

Walking is nice, walking takes us forward, walking clears my mind

Went walking tonight, pretty randomly, doing some handstands here and there, some legraises on busstops n stuff (to keep muscle-balance). textmessaged my friend C and she came along, it's nice, the weather, fuckin wet though.. but still, not hellfrozen assholes of doom in ze pants (yep I have multiple assholes).

Anyway, it was a nice walk, and we ended up at a small party, talking about random stuff as usual and then my friend K drove me home, she's insanely kind.

Now Im here, waiting for my meal to get done so I can eat, balance my muscles then sleep.

Hmm this actually feels like a blog-thingie... weird lol

Realise the truth.

My birthday passed, with no one close to me taking initative to do something fun with me.

I've realised the truth.

And it scares me. So much that I know dont have confidence to ask anyone else if they want to do something, afraid of getting a "no" I guess.

I simply isn't someone that people want to hang out with. Time to shift focus.

Since I've already "lost" in this aspect, I'll try to win in something else, to keep myself from crumbling down and die in thoughts.

This is where my training comes in. Training gives a happiness based on my own actions, happiness that isnt based on anyone else. The same goes with making paintings or poetry (as the ones I add on here). They make me feel like I accomplish something.

I'm feeling an inner stress right now that is VERY strong, I need to gain some strength here, fast.

So therefor I end this post now. Peace.

Hush little baby...

Reflection

Meditation

Gravity is just another obstacle, change it as you like

My words of wisdom

When losing no longer exists, success is the logical outcome